The Process of “Delightfully Harmonious"
Anxiety is sometimes, and very well is always, just a cue that is telling you to maybe change something up or do something different or even think something different. The more I saw this painting (below) hanging on the wall in my apartment, the more anxious I felt. I knew I needed to take the chance and completely change it.
It’s a massive canvas (54” by 42”) from my senior show in college. There’s so much history and memories that go with this painting…but am I that person now? Can I even relate with that person painting the painting? Nope. I just can't. I like her of course and I see where she’s coming from but I'm different now. This meant something then that doesn’t exist now. So let’s gird up our loins and take a risk! And that’s what I did…and this is what all my courage got me in the first step…omg pretty terrible…
Okay so yeah I painted orange over it and I hated it very much. What in the world was I thinking?! “Just keep going…this is a normal part of the process?!?! Right?!!” Process meaning that it’s going to feel and look terrible but you MUST. KEEP. GOING. So what did I do? I did what any person would do. I decided to plop a cow on the canvas…
Okay YES! A peaceful looking cow with the perfect amount of spots! I like where this is headed if that’s all I care about…but I care a lot about what’s going on outside of the shape of the cow and his spots so I ate my guilt and worries and anxiety and made a move!
Strawberry milk pink cow and some rays for the sky! Yes. Starting to actually enjoy where this is headed more than before. Strawberry milk vibes! Childhood anyone?? (Also, shout out to my amazingly handsome husband!)
Let’s be real…what am I doing if I'm not adding flowers under my strawberry pink cow?? And I need to add strawberries in the field of flowers too!!! Oooo okay chunky flowers…hmm the sky is not doing it for me anymore as much as I love the sun rays! With so much texture and depth from the painting underneath, a textured blue sky is the call. I love a blue sky…
We got the sky and added some neon yellow streaks…not a huge fan let’s be real. I do love the new flower shapes on the previously green blobs in the field.
I even threw on some pastel texturing on the yellow flowers. I love me some neon pink accents!
Details!!!!!! Dots, circles, flowers…I'm more confident this is going somewhere I'm going to like. But it still feels off. The cow is too pink..the sky is not right and the field of flowers is not working yet. Let’s change the cow color and add some more details…and get a better blue blasted on that sky!!
Oh yeah baby!!!!!! That sky is what people like to call “chef’s kiss” and the new detailed flowers are singing a new song! Am I in love? Well let me just say…I’m trippin’, but not falling yet!!
Can you tell what I did?!! Green pastel on top of the purple-ish background next to the orange dots! Needed some green in there for sure. Cuz grass…obviously…
The sky was sky-ing but it needed something more to set the tone. And the tone is harmonious peace and what’s more peaceful then looking at stars in the night sky? Stars added…CHECK!
I needed to put more pink. The rules of life are…you can never ever ever have too much pink! The yellow of the big flowers was fun of course but pink makes my heart sing and be happy….well if that’s the case…more pink it is!!! But those yellow looking flowers…its too much with the stars…it’s not flowing correctly. It’s making me feel unsettled…
There! Much better. More cohesive. More pink details with the pastels and Posca neon pink pens. I think I let this sit on my wall for a week or so and I do that because I know it’s not done but I need some time to think about my next moves and time to get irritated to have the gumption to make that last final (frustrated…in a good way) push to bring it to completion!
2 weeks later….Finally had the courage and aggression to make a move…The cow needed to be whiter!!! Took like 4 layers (anxiety anyone?!!) of different shades of “white” but I finally got it! Gosh it was stressful having the keep going around all those black spots and the shape of the cow omg..And there were some flowers that I needed to get rid of by the tail that were a cause for concern…lol
And my beautiful peaceful cow is COMPLETE! He’s completely harmonious with the nature under his feet and the sky above his head. This painting came full circle!!!! I freaking did it! I’m so so happy with it and it means so much more knowing that I made it with the courage to paint over that old painting and make something that is most definitely and delightfully ME!
There’s so much meaning behind this painting that I have yet to share so look out for a new blog post coming out soon!!!
“Delightfully Harmonious”
54” x 42”
Mixed Media
